Seriously, what is wrong with me?
2005-07-04 @ 8:26 p.m.

I cannot believe how freaking tired I am. I know that most people in this country are carrying lawn chairs to parks in order to watch fireworks, I'm just trying to stay away from my bed until it's dark outside.

Last week was weird. First of all, I had some sort of summer cold and wasn't able to funtion at all. So forget about exercise. Then I had to go away for a week long work conference so my diet was pretty much non-existant. Actually, I did pretty well eating wise. It was only when I got home on Friday that the slack started to kick in. I knew that I didn't have to weigh-in until Tuesday so I kept justifying little screwups. After all the humiliation of going back to LA weightloss I SWORE that it was over...but all it took was a fucking cold and a week away from home to tear away at my resolve. The scale has been unusally kind to me...i'm thinking it's just saving up for the morning of Weigh In when it'll kick me in the nuts. I'm so fucking tired to doing battle with myself. It's like 99% of my energy just goes to making sure I don't stuff a KitKat in my face. There's got to be more to life than this. So tomorrow it's back to the LA plan and I just hope that the scale grants me a tiny reprieve so that I can spare myself another humiliation.

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