Put Me Out Of My Fucking Misery
2004-05-15 @ 1:43 a.m.

I swear to you, someone out there has a voodoo doll of me and is constantly shoving fried shit at it. That can be the only explanation as to why I continue to eat like i'm preparing for a tour of duty on Survivor. If you'll notice I haven't updated in a few days, it's because i've been doing horribly and I HATE to admit my weakness to the world. Tonight I had a funnel cake. Fried dough covered with sugar. that's what I chose to shove down my throat. that's not all though. Today I had mexican for lunch and pizza for dinner.

Def. in need of an intervention.

Saw Ruben Studdard in concert this week. He is freaking HUGE. Ruben, dude, I love you man but you've got to lose some weight. I'm glad that a dude your size can make it in an incredibly shallow industry...but for your own health man. He's even bigger in person that on TV.

Speaking of TV...I was watching some farewell to Fraiser special on VH1 (as if anyone really gave a flying fuck they were going off the air). Not sure why I was watching it. I think I mistook it for I love the 80's and was just too lazy to change it. Anyways, they were getting ready to talk about how that one chick's character gets really fat and the announcer guy says something like this before they cut to commercial..."and once again we see why fat always equals funny." i'm not shitting you. Maybe those weren't the EXACT words, but it's pretty damn close. So fat always equals funny, huh. that's rad. I'd love to see them say..."and that's why crippled always equals funny."

78