I am a dumb slut
2004-03-21 @ 2:23 a.m.

I am a dumb slut.

First let me start off by saying that I made out with a guy tonight. the first time I have actually kissed someone in about 5 years. Sad as fuck, but true. I went bowling with some friends...and he was the brother of one of the guys.

He wasn't exactly brad pitt, not wretch inducing, but def. not someone I would choose if i wasn't crippled with insecurity. First of all, he bought me a drink--which has never happened before. and when he started to hang all over me, I just sort of let him. It was so novel. I ended up driving him home to his brother's place and we made out for a little while. It wasn't fun.

I know that i've been saying that i'll take anybody, but tonight I realized that that's not true.

I guess I am glad that it happened though...

a) because I can finally convince myself that, if necessary, I could get a man...and b) because it made me realize for the FIRST time that just because i'm fat doesn't mean that I should have to settle for just anybody.

so many overweight women are in happy relationships with non-lame people that they actually enjoy spending time with. I can be one of those people. I don't even mind waiting anymore. I honestly don't. Even though I still want a man, I'm not going to whore myself out to any guy that doesn't vomit when he sees me.

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