|
LaneBryant falls into The Gap
2004-01-29 @ 10:50 p.m.
Let me just preface this entry by saying that I should have known better. I went to the GAP today. By myself. So I know this sounds a little strange, since I've spent the majority of my adult life thinking of excuses not to go into that or any other trendy- skinny- people store...but my sister keeps telling me that I should go and try on their jeans. She said that their sizes are really generous and are anywhere from 1-2 sizes bigger than other stores. So I get this lame idea to go and try on a pair of their jeans just to see if that's true. First of all, they only go up to 16 in their store. Someone else told me they sold 18's...but not the case. there wasn't anybody else in the store so i figure what the hell. I knew that I didn't stand a chance in hell of fitting into their pants, but I wanted to see just how big they were. I grabbed a XL men's T-shirt to take to the dressing room too (just so the staff didn't think I was completely delusional) Hilarity Ensues. I couldn't even get the jeans on past my thighs. At that moment, I started to panic..thinking that there must be a security monitor somewhere capturing all this and that my fat ass would wind up on some hillarious bloopers show. Luckily the dressing room connected to the Gap Kids so I made my escape that way without having to walk past the salespeople again. So that was really embarrassing. after I get home I check out their website to see what sizes they actually carry...and they go up to 20 but only ONLINE. What. The. Fuck. I guess they want our money, but they don't want our fat asses parading around their store...disgusting all the regulars. What a bunch of assbiscuits. Oh wait, I'm sorry...they also sell extended sizes in their OUTLET stores. So if you're fat you can either order online or drive like 50 miles to BumFuck to get clothes...attention fatties: STEP AWAY FROM THE MALL! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE CLOTHES WITH THE REST OF SOCIETY. GO HOME, MAKE SOME MICROWAVE POPCORN AND GO TO THEGAP.COM ON YOUR WAY TO THE BIG AND BEAUTIFUL CHATROOM. fuck the fucking gap.
78
|
