Getting Lucky
2003-10-07 @ 12:41 a.m.

I can't really explain it, but I feel like my luck is changing. These past few months have sucked dangerous amounts of ass....being broke, unemployed, fat, single....but I honestly think that shit's going to get better soon. Today was my dad's birthday. I cooked him his favorite dinner tonight and did a kick ass job if i say so myself. I was really happy the way it turned out and it felt good to do something nice for someone. PLus the Sox winning tonight put me in a good mood. i'm not a follower of sports...but still.

My brother wrote us a letter today saying that he likes his new job and he's found a really cool girl to date and that's he's really happy, etc. That also put me in a good mood. You'd think that I might be a bit jealous of his good fortune, but actually i'm not. He had a long rough spell (like my current sitch) so i'm glad he's doing better. (although, let me point out that he never had a problem getting dates...so I can't completely sympathize with him. Men with a little more chub in their cheeks have it much easier than fat chicks) I think that now it's going to be my turn next.

So today wasn't so great for the diet. but whatevs, i'm not going to deny myself normal food all the time, just MOST of the time. I remember going to the super market with my mom when i was on jenny craig and feeling so left out from everything, because I couldn't eat normal food like everyone else. All my food came pre-packaged from JC. I know it sounds weird, but the feeling that I could never have regular food made me really depressed at the time. I honestly think that's part of the reason why it didn't work. Ok, so maybe i'm just trying to justify my actions today. but honestly,I don't care. I'm not going to have Healthy Choice tatooed on my ass for the rest of my life. I will have one bad meal once in awhile...once in a very LONG while. there, i've said my peace.

Exercise

75 min/4mi

Food

1 banana 100 cals

1 country fried steak

mashed potatoes

greenbeans

I can't find the totals for some of the shit, but obviously it's not like eating 2 bowls of Special K. But it was a special occasion and it was worth it. I'll work even harder the rest of the week to make up for it.

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