the inevitable breakdown
2003-11-02 @ 1:19 a.m.

today was a strange day. My motivation is back. To be honest, I know I keep saying that but not entirely meaning it. I guess I just thought that if i kept saying it, it would make it true.

Rereading old entrys helped a lot. Also, since i'd had a lot of time to myself today, i sat down to think about what was causing my failures. of course I couldn't come up with a clear answer, but it bascially comes down to me being weak. and I fucking hate that.

So after all that soul searching I sort of had a breakdown. Nothing major, but I did end up crying in my room for a bit. Sometimes I think it just helps to get it all out like that. Hmmm..nothing really to add to that, but i felt like I came to an understanding with myself..i don't know how to verbalize what that was...but ya.

exercise 4 mi

2 bowls cereal 250 cals x2

1 lean pocket 280 cals

1 can progresso soup 250 cals

1 bag popcorn 200 cals

total 1230

78